Welcome to What I Learned From. This is a series where I share the love lessons or insights I’ve gained from pop culture whether it’s a song, movie or show. In this post, I share what I learned from the High School Musical movie series.
If you’re a millennial who’s had a Disney phase, chances are you’ve heard of something called high school musical.
And if you know about high school musical, then you’d know about the love story of troy and gabriella. But what makes this such a classic series that captivated the entire nation by storm when we were children was the interesting mix it had.
It introduced singing, dancing and acting, all in a relatable setting for those of us who felt compelled to stick to a status quo even though they wanted to break free. See what I did there? Haha.
More importantly, it introduced romance and love to us, at the key window right between cooties and puberty. We saw how Troy won over Gabriella, one choice at a time, choosing her over and over again.
Re-watching the entire series recently reminded me of how much it truly affected my view on relationships and romance. The true impact this had on my never-ending optimism for true love. It also gave me a bunch of ways to show my significant other how much I care with Zac Efron or Vanessa Hudgens as a role model.
Here are five love lessons I learned about love and romance that shape how I view relationships from high school musical movie series:
HSM Love lessons 1: What do they care about? Do you know?
I once saw a quote that went something like:
“They will treat you how they want to be treated at first, and then eventually will start treating you like you treat them.”
You ever wonder why your partner seems to be less invested than they were initially when you first started dating?
How is your partner’s favourite team doing? Have they learned any new skills for their new hobby?
It’s very easy to tell whether someone genuinely cares about you or not. They’ll pay attention to the little things. Your partner will ask you about basketball if you’re on the East High basketball team. They’ll ask you about how college applications are going and study with you if your grades need to go up.
Do you know why Troy drove all the way to Stanford to dance with Gabriella? That was romantic huh?
It’s because he loves her. He loves her so much that he didn’t want to be away from her for University and picked a school just to be close to her.
I know in real life, it’s a kind of silly thing to do, since statistically, 2% of high school sweethearts end up with their partners, according to Brandon Gaille. However, it showed the commitment he was willing to give her. It showed how much she meant to him just from all the things she cared about.
An example:
Take Sharpay Evans for example. She wanted to date Troy not for any particular reason, except that he was captain of the basketball team and he was super popular. You’ll notice that when she asked him about basketball, it was obvious she didn’t care and that’s why Troy never cared much for her.
I think that instinctually, it’s hard to care about something else just because the person you like or are dating cares about it. As human beings with a built-in self-only radar, we tend to care about and notice things when it pertains to our self-interest.
A lot of times, it’s just not interesting enough for us to get into it. I get that. I can understand that football is too boring, or that you think shopping is a waste of time. But virtually everyone, appreciates being paid attention to.
If you can give your partner, that little extra attention, I promise you, it’ll go a long way.
HSM Lessons #2: Mutual interests can play a major role, in your relationship
Yes, singing is a mutual interest, and by the looks of it, it almost gave life to our favourite on-screen romance.
Now why is this important?
It acts as a glue. It gives two people not only a topic to talk about, but opportunity to spend time together in person.
As two busy high schoolers with a focus on the future and onwards, there really wasn’t much time to date and hang out, as I’m sure those who have finished high school can attest.
Troy and Gabriella didn’t just love singing, but you’ll notice that throughout the movie, they choose each other as part of the decision of making theatre and drama a priority. It gave them space to be who they wanted to be and not have to worry about upholding the reputation of basketball star or scholastic genius.
According to the Atlantic, in our fast-moving world, the average working adult has two and a half hours of free time a day. This includes work, sleep and eating as well as commute and any work you may have to do.
That doesn’t leave a lot of room for dating. If you’re a student, that doesn’t even include school work and extracurriculars. In many cases, extracurriculars make a great mutual interest.
That’s why having mutual interests is important. It almost forces you to block out time within your schedule to do something you enjoy. If you’re with someone else who also enjoys it, chances are you’ll enjoy it that much more.
Big love lesson: Keep your promises, especially time-related ones
Like every couple, Troy and Gabriella aren’t perfect. But there’s a reason why their relationship seemed to shine so brightly. It’s because it felt real. They weren’t just in love the entire time. They had fights, arguments and disagreements.
Troy showed us that just because you’re the king of high school does not excuse you from basic relationship etiquette. In the second movie, it was apparent that once they got comfortable, Troy stopped caring about the relationship and the communication as much. Pool dates were three hours late and promises started getting broken.
Granted, he had pressure to get into a good school, but it doesn’t excuse the choices he made knowing how it would affect not only the other person, but the relationship as a whole. He soon realized the mistake he was given and realized that he had to take a chance and choose what he saw as more important. He chose Gabriella and his friends.
Here’s the thing:
You will always make time for what matters, and unfortunately, we live in a time where relationships just don’t seem as important anymore. We’ve confused urgency with importance and allowed the hustle and bustle of real life to distract us from what’s really important.
I mean, is another bar night for networking more important than your partner’s first art exhibit? It seems silly when we write it down, but in the heat of the moment, we often choose the former.
There’s no hack to having a good relationship. In fact, it’s a lot of work. It’s a long-term commitment you make to the other person. Sacrifices will have to be made and priorities will have to be clear.
Promises are like scores. The more you keep them, the higher the score will be maintained. However, just like Gabriella, if our partner gets let down time and time again, we shouldn’t be surprised when they finally put themselves first.
HSM Love lessons 4: Always keep the surprises going
What’s better than a picnic? A picnic on the golf course with an outstanding peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich maker like Troy of course.
If you take the time, thought and effort into planning something for the other person, it shows. Even if it’s just a simple picnic with sandwiches, it speaks volumes to the type of person you are.
I mean, it’s hard not to completely fall for someone who takes something you said once a few months ago, and turns it into something real. It shows that the other person will take something that maybe even you didn’t think was a big deal, and make it a big deal.
When you truly care about somebody, it’s almost like there is no small deal. Whether it’s a lunch time picnic, or a bag of chips that your partner craved, it’s important.
Surprises also show the value behind how we see the other person.
There’s a reason why it’s a surprise in the first place. Not only do you have to set it up and have everything prepared, but you have keep it as a secret from them. And why is it a secret? Because we want to see the reaction on the other person’s face when we surprise them.
Surprises keep the spontaneity within relationships, but it’s also a powerful tool to express your love. Even if it’s something simple like cleaning the house when your partner is out, it shows that their happiness means something to you.
The final love lesson: Be willing to defend the other person in front of others
Remember how the entire basketball team basically trash-talked Gabriella at the lockers to get Troy to stay on the team? Remember how Troy just kind of let it happen? Letting them say whatever they wanted to?
Now think back to the second movie, when Troy’s friends said that he changed and she defended him.
That’s the difference. You should be showing your partner just as much respect when they’re there, or when they’re not. Are you willing to stand up to your friends? Speak what’s really on your mind?
This was quite common growing up. I noticed that a lot of people would say one thing, but once their partner is out of the room, they’ll act like everyone else and keep quiet.
Gabriella showed us that regardless if Troy was there, she loved him and will always have his back.
That’s what we look for in a relationship. We look for someone we can trust. Someone who will have our backs. We look for someone who will never bad-mouth us behind our backs because they respect and love us.
Whether it’s friends, family or even strangers. Having your partners back is a fundamental part of any relationship and we really got to explore the differences in High School Musical 1 & 2.
P.S. Troy made up for it by having Gabriella’s back in breaking free
In conclusion
Long enough as it is, I wanted to wrap up with how important HSM is to me. It was the first movie series I truly fell in love with, and it really made me a sucker for Disney-type relationships.
My love for these movies pushed me to go against the status quo and do what I love as opposed to what everybody else wanted. It taught me that love takes work, and even though things may seem good, you have to continue to put work into the relationship to make it truly great.
These movies taught me these love lessons at a very early age where I was able to understand why Gabriella did the things she did for Troy.
Re-watching them again really showed me what parts of my romance life have been attributed to these wonderful movies.
It reminded me of why I love romance and relationships so much.
Feel free to check out my previous post to learn more about letters and hearts.
Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
I wanted to end by asking: What childhood movie or TV show impacted how you perceive love and why?
Love always,
Alex
[…] You can also read my previous post on how High School Musical teaches us love. […]