It’s been a while since I’ve written on here and I wanted to bring it back with the advice column. If you’ve been following along, you know I love to give unsolicited relationship advice.
Once in a blue moon however, I’ll get a question from a reader that I get to provide targetted advice for. For the sake of anonymity, I’ll refer to this person as JR, who asked the following:
“My partner wants an open relationship but I can’t bear the idea of sharing my love with someone else. What should I do?”
Dear JR,
In the age of the internet and our oversexualized society, there are more and more people who celebrate the idea of polygamy.
For heavens sake I literally saw a TikTok account who’s content was solely focused on their polyamourous relationship. Now I’m not trying to judge, but this behaviour is happening more and more, and a lot of people consider this a viable relationship option.
Here are my thoughts on the matter.
It won’t work long term unless this is what both people want the same thing. This is with any kind of relationship. Similarly, if someone wants marriage, and the other person can’t stand the idea of it, then it’s never going to work, regardless of how long you’ve been together.
So if you genuinely can’t stand the idea of sharing, and your partner really believes this is the way they want to conduct a relationship, then you have a choice to make.
I’m going to tell you what other advice columns won’t. Just break up. If this is how you’re both feeling, it isn’t going to go away any time soon. Eventually, one of you will press for change, whether it’s your partner bringing in a third person, or you finding someone else because you can’t stand this behaviour.
I know it’ll be a tough decision to make, and perhaps you’ll have to have many many long conversations with your partner. But you deserve someone who can commit to the relationship like you’re willing to and want the same thing out of it.
It’s not just their relationship, or just yours. It’s something you both share. You should both look for the same thing.
This is just my advice anyways. I hope this provides some level of clarity for you. If it did, please let me know in the comments.
It’s been a while since I’ve written here. If you’d like to check out my most recent article on men’s mental health, click here.
I’m going to be sharing more responses similar to this to questions from you in the advice corner.
I also write for Medium and a publication called P.S. I Love You.
Thank you so much for reading.
Love always,
Alex