When I was younger, I used to think that if I just had a girlfriend at that moment, than everything else in my life could be endured. That really lacks a sense of self-fulfillment.
If we choose to approach a relationship like something that will complete us, then I hate to break it to you, but we’re doing that all wrong.
The point of a relationship is really to take a good version of you and encourage you to be the best version.
It’s not to take a bad version of you and make it good. That’s something we have to do on our own.
Which is where self-fulfillment comes in.
If we don’t love us, who will?
You’ve probably heard the term if you want others to love you, you have to love yourself.
As cliché as that sounds, I couldn’t agree more.
Self-fulfillment prior to a relationship is so important.
If you aren’t completely happy with yourself, then you’ll end up bringing a lot of that self negativity towards your relationship.
And that’s not fair.
You’ll end up involving your partners in a lot of personal issues you haven’t addressed yet.
Self-fulfillment is stronger than any alternatives
Loving yourself isn’t the same as pouring a glass of water.
If you aren’t able to fill it up for yourself, it’s hard for someone else to do it for you.
It’s up to you to make self-fulfillment possible.
When we try to make up for this through alternative means, fueled by external validation, we end up feeling down about ourselves at some point.
Sure, there’s the saying that a compliment can take you far, but what about when that high dies down?
A way I like to think of it, is what if there were no other people on Earth?
Would you be able to be happy with yourself?
We value the outside way too much
Similarly, I find that a lot of the negativity and lack of self-fulfillment actually comes externally.
We aren’t born to hate ourselves.
Negative thoughts are told to us on repeat in order for us to eventually believe it.
If that can be changed through self-fulfillment, then the opposite is also true.
As much as people can compliment us, one bad thought can easily derail everything.
That’s why it’s so important to love yourself and why self-fulfillment is actually the first step, before a relationship.
You don’t need anybody to complete you.
You’re able to complete yourself.
Do you believe in self-fulfillment?
Let me know in the comments!
Check out my last article on being stuck in the middle.
You can also check out similar articles in the love yourself section.
I also write for Medium and a publication called P.S. I Love You.
Thank you so much for reading.
Love always,
Alex
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