Don’t ask them out for coffee after meeting them

This week, I was having a conversation with a friend, and she told me a guy who she returned a lost phone to, asked her out for coffee.

What I don’t understand is, what context was there that gave the idea that she was interested?

This actually happens a lot.

A guy will see a girl a few times, and summon the confidence and bravado to ask her for a date with knowing close to nothing about them.

If you’re a guy reading this, don’t do this. Don’t ask them out for coffee.

It’s not confidence, it’s cluelessness

It takes a lot of courage to ask someone out, but it takes even more to realize what you actually see in the person.

A lot of times, in this scenario, it’s likely that they don’t know much about the other person, aside from a pretty face.

Not only that, but it puts them on the spot, forcing them to share an answer that they may not be entirely comfortable with.

Let’s be honest here, what are you even going to talk about with that person with close to no information about them?

I don’t mean capitalize on a short conversation and rope them into a coffee date with you.

Please don’t do that.

My friend literally told me the guy wanted to thank her with a cup of coffee.

If the girl isn’t interested, it’s actually really cringe in my opinion.

You’re literally taking advantage of a situation for any potential romance, which is just such a sneaky thing to do.

Why not try to have an actual conversation first? About literally anything?

When you do that, everybody knows the meaning behind ‘grab a coffee’, so it’s really not fooling anyone.

From talking with some friends, and my own personal experience, I think I’ve developed a pretty good way to approach a situation like this.

The first part is to actually have a conversation. If this isn’t possible, why not ask for a form of communication first?

Bottom line, nobody wants to grab coffee with a stranger they know nothing about.

If neither of you know anything about each other, a coffee date would be sheer awkwardness in my opinion.

Once you get a little bit of an idea about who they are, then ask the coffee question.

That way you both know what you’re actually getting into.

So tell me, have you asked a random stranger to coffee before?

Let me know in the comments!

You can also check out similar articles in the advice corner.

I also write for Medium and a publication called P.S. I Love You.

Thank you so much for reading.

Love always,

Alex

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