What would you do if? | Modern relationship questions

What would you do if your mom and I were both drowning in an ocean?

As cliché as that sounds, I’m sure it’s not a question you’re hearing for the first time.

Today I thought it’d be fun to share a little on these ‘so-called’ hypothetical questions.

In almost all of my relationships, I’ve been asked something similar. Where I was basically put in a hypothetical situation, that I would normally make a very clear decision for, but in the moment, plus the other person virtually grading the answer I give, it changes quite a bit.

But why?

I think that’s probably one of the biggest questions, when it comes to these hypothetical questions.

Why is it that our partners feel the need to ask us these decisions where we’re forced to make a decision that would technically be a lose-lose situation?

Take the example from the beginning.

My answer is usually, I’d drown myself first. Without sounding sarcastic or sadistic, I think that would be the obvious choice.

On the one hand, you keep your girlfriend and lose your mom. On the other hand, you keep your mom, but now your girlfriend feels that they’ve taken a backseat in your priorities.

Whatever you choose in that situation, it’s usually the wrong answer.

I think that it has more to do with the person asking it.

What would you do if? = how much do you value me?

In my opinion, having to feel good from a hypothetical scenario might be more reflective of your relationship than you even realize.

The question wouldn’t really come up in the first place if your partner felt safe around you.

That’s something I realized about myself as well. I realized the importance of making your partner feel safe.

When it comes down to it, your partner isn’t actually asking that question.

What they want to know is, where do you place me on your list of priorities?

How much do I mean to you?

What did I learn?

I learned to communicate after realizing this.

Communication in a relationship is the most important thing when it comes to dating, or in any relationship for that matter.

I learned to let my partner know, more often, just how much they mean to me, and why they mean so much.

To appreciate my partner for even the little things. The things that usually wouldn’t be that big of a deal to me, I realized could mean a lot to someone else.

I learned to give my partner more attention, to let them know that they are a priority. That I care about what they have to say.

In conclusion

I think all relationships could use this as a reminder.

So often, we may just look at the situation, or listen to a hypothetical question, and think it’s a silly question.

On the surface, it’s a silly question, but underneath, it could often warrant a very serious answer.

We all have so much to learn about relationships. It’s a work in progress for all of us.

What I want you to think about, is the why behind the reason your partner does things.

What hypothetical questions have you been asked?

Let me know in the comments!

If you’d like, you can read my previous article on attention in a relationship.

You can also check out similar articles in the advice corner.

I also write for Medium and a publication called P.S. I Love You.

Thank you so much for reading.

Love always,

Alex